Unanswerable Questions

I would like to start this blog with a little something I like to call "unanswerable questions," concerning Korea. These questions will never be answered and I would probably put them on the same level as the all important questions like "Who am I?" and "What is the meaning of life?"
1. First and most important - Why is there toilet paper EVERYWHERE except in the bathrooms?
Koreans use toilet paper when they're eating, when they are cleaning, but not when they go to the bathroom. I mean it's bad enough that most public toilets aren't seats, rather they are holes in the floor, why not include some toilet paper for the ride. And this Korean food does not make life run on a schedule, so this boycott on bathroom use of toilet paper needs to come to an end.
2. Korean parents are so protective of their children but yet none of the school windows have screens or bars and they are much bigger than the size of a child. Where are the priorities???
I have definitely seen kids hanging out of windows and looking down from the fourth floor of my school. How many children have to kiss pavement from 40 feet up before they decide to put screens in. But then again, I'm not closing them though; it gets hot in that school.
3. Why is it that when I'm eating lunch with my teachers everyone points at me like crazy while talking to my coteacher in Korean, and then my coteacher never explains what is being said?
All she does is laugh. Then they look at me. Then they laugh. And i'm sitting there wondering if I am bleeding from the nose or have Kimchi all over my face. This literally happens every lunch. Today was actually the only time I had a translation and it was because one of the teachers wanted to play basketball with me before his next class. I guess theres a first time for everything.
4. Why are native teachers always the last to know anything? This is something that is drilled into teachers heads in orientation so of course I just said "Sure, Sure" no big deal. But it really does happen. On Monday we were supposed to have a teachers meeting at 4:00. So I flew through my lesson plans, clearly sacrificing students educations so I can make it to the meeting, which is only held in Korean. I get to the room where it is held and noone is there. I wasn't sure if this was some sort of new teacher hazing thing, like a ninth green at nine happy gilmore prank. So I head back to my coteachers room and ask her if I missed something, and she just starts laughing and telling me she's sorry. Nice. Then Wednesday is supposed to be "sports day" for teachers at 3:00 until whenever, where we play volleyball or racketball or anything. Well the first sports day, a week ago, I did not know it existed so I played volleyball in business casual clothing and flip flops; so naturally I made sure to bring a change of clothes for the upcoming sports day. At several points during the day teachers came by and made sure that I was going to play. So at 3:00 I got changed and went up to the gym to find no one there. As I'm walking back all of the teachers I usually play with are saying "Hello" because they don't speak English but definitely laughing as they say it. Clearly these guys know something I don't. Eventually someone tells me that they canceled it and are moving it to today. Well that's not true either, as I found out today. Dynamic Korea.
5. Why do Koreans not sweat, and why do I sweat so much? Well everyday I come to school from my 25 minute walk pouring sweat because it's still really hot in Busan and there is this huge hill I have to climb at the end of my walk. So I get to make the daily first impression of me weezing out of shape and pouring sweat, all the while trying to remember how to say hello in Korean. This sweating dichotomy between myself and Korea as a nation really came to a head was the first time I played volleyball. As I said before I didn't exactly have my sweat bands with me this particular sports day so I was trying to play in a poorly ventilated, humid gym with no A/C and still keep it sexy in my van heusens. That lasted until I thought about the gym, much less the minute I stepped in. I'm ripping off layers of clothes like i'm on fire and everyone else is hanging out stretching. After about two minutes I felt like I was in a gatorade commercial while everyone else is still setting up the net. I guess the best way I could think about it is that I was Steve Zissou running through the swamp looking around saying "Everyone check for sweat, what, no one else got hit?"
It's bad.
6. This isn't a question but everyone of my students are named 김 or 이, which is Kim and Ee respectively. I think in the US Ee turns into Lee, although it definitely isn't pronounced that way; although Kim isn't pronounced with a K really either, its more of a combination of K and G. Regardless, since in Korea family name is said first everyone has those two names first. Out of 156 6th graders, there are 45 Kim's and 30 Ee's. Those two last names make up half of my sixth graders. Makes handing back papers a nightmare, as I can't even tell which names are girls or guys yet. Thats horrible but in my defense the meanings of the names are out of control. My coteachers name is Jung Young-Ja, and Ja means son in Korean. I guess her dad wanted a son and got a daughter so he named her "son." So how can I ever know when girls are named "man."
Now these questions will never be answered or understood, but they can definitely be prodded for some meaning; but good luck to any that try.